How to Keep Your Information Safe on Dating Apps
You have to put yourself out there to find someone, but that doesn’t mean you have to have your entire life on display to prying eyes.
There are far too many horror stories of people being found on Instagram through a dating app, and worse, contacted after not even matching. It is a moment of sobering realisation — how vulnerable we really are with all the personal information we put out there, and just how easy it is for someone to find us, be it elsewhere online, or in real life.
Script kiddies use readily available scripts or software to comb through someone’s information with very little effort. Open-source intelligence (OSINT) is a very cool name for collecting and analysing data others make publicly available, through a framework. In other words, that one friend who can find a specific person with bits of seemingly random information about them? They’re basically doing that.
If you’ve been a victim of (cyber) stalking, or wish to not become one, here are some tips to keep yourself, and your information, safe. This goes for all activities online, not just limited to dating apps.
Verify, then trust
Matching with someone and actually having a pleasant conversation is thrilling. There are so many possibilities, so many ways this person could either enrich your life, or completely ruin it.
It is safe, even advisable, to assume that nowadays, most people know their way around the internet and technology in general. How-to guides are numerous, and not just for cooking recipes or changing tires, but hacking as well. In other words, if someone with ill intent wants to get information about you, it’s easily searchable and executable.
Do not blindly trust strangers on applications, as they might not always have your best interest in mind. All they need is a bit of time and a working internet connection to take away your privacy from you.
Do not give out your phone number, street address, even the name of the neighbourhood you live in unless you are ready to change those in an instant.
Now of course, flat out giving out such personal information goes against any sense of self-preservation, but it goes much deeper than that.
You recently complained about the noisy bar down the street playing 80s rock music? You told your match how it’s great you are only 3 minutes away from an amazing Italian restaurant? Great, you just left hints to a potential stalker to figure out your exact street name.
Be very careful of sharing specific information like that. If the person on the other side pushes for you to reveal such info, be wary. Better to be impolite than to be stalked.
Take new photos
When you’re setting up your profile on a dating app, photos are the most crucial part. You want to use the ones where you look the best, the angle is favourable and the light is good. Chances are, you will simply use the ones already uploaded to social media.
Unfortunately, reverse image search exists. Re-using the same photos just makes it so much easier for potential stalkers to find your social media in a few seconds, even if you did not match.
Take this article as a cue to go out and take some new photos!
Make sure you are outside, in a generic public place, preferably with some distance from the place where you sleep. Avoid taking selfies at your home, as it gives others an insight of your bedroom, living room and bathroom. Combine the view from your window with the street name, and you gave out the exact apartment you live in to the stalker.
As a side note, most social media strips away the EXIF data from uploaded photos to save up on bandwidth. EXIF data contains the metadata of photos — the location and time they were taken. To add another layer of protection, just in case, take a screenshot of the photo then upload the screenshot, or manually strip the EXIF data from them. Don’t rely on others to protect your privacy, and especially don’t expect it from big corporations.
New way of communicating
So you matched with someone and you vibed well enough to take it outside the dating app. They ask you for your phone number, and you give it out freely, not really thinking.
Might as well give them your social security number as well,
because that’s basically what you did.
Phone numbers are usually tied to our full legal names, or even full names of our family members. Not only that, but if things fall apart, they might use your number to harass you.
There’s a few ways to keep in contact with someone without actually giving out your phone number, and this should be utilised until the other person is verified as trustworthy.
Set up a Google Voice.
Make a Discord account.
Use Element.
Anything but your phone number will keep you safe. If you give out your phone number, I hope you are not too attached to it. You might have to change it.
Get creative with usernames
There is no shame in calling yourself “xXIceQueenJennyXx” if that is not the username you have on other social media.
When you’re setting up your dating profile, make sure to sign up with a completely new e-mail that is unattached to your other accounts.
You can make a new e-mail in a few minutes at ProtonMail, or make a temporary one using Temp-Mail.
The reason for this is the fact that there is software that can easily search out and compile all your social media made under a certain username or e-mail address. Pretty scary, huh.
So put on your thinking cap and go crazy with a new identity to protect your actual one. Slightly misspell your name — Kaitleen is now Kaitlyn. Better safe than sorry.
Stay protected, and stay vigilant. Don’t overshare your information until the other person is vetted and verified as a trustworthy individual. Minimal preparation can save you years of headaches or paranoia.