Critique Critically Hit!
How to receive criticism and avoid crumbling like a chocolate chip cookie made with too much flour.
Quite a stirrup recently in the online book world, with some authors forgetting the invaluable importance of receiving a well-meaning critique. Names won’t be named, as this goes for anyone who is afraid of improvement.
An actual critique that is thought through, that is lengthy enough to cover all the points that need to be addressed, and whose aim is to help the critiqued improve their craft, is so, so rare nowadays, it might as well be considered striking gold.
And this goes for any profession, any career, craft, hobby, or passion. It is the reason why mentors are cherished in many stories of yesterday, and why they still are sorely needed today. Never has it been easier to develop an echo chamber around oneself, a miniature cult of personality, as it is today with the internet in its current form.
I remember starting out with photography as a hobby, and figuring out on my own how to produce the bokeh effect in photos. Gosh, it was an amazing feeling and I thought I was a prodigy with an entry-level DSLR and blessed hands. Uploading the said photos online yielded nothing but criticism, and that stung. It stung real bad. My whole world view was shattered and my ego was in shambles.
But then I actually came back and really read the words strangers left on my craft, directing me to certain books, to study certain photos, and be better. At the time, I was a teenager, and even then there was enough backbone in me to take it to heart and get to work. Those strangers took the time out of their day to write out detailed critique for me, and to throw it back in their faces would be downright rude.
People seem to shy away from criticism, as if it’s a bad thing, as if it’s a personal attack on their very being, proclaiming proudly how they only want to hear praise. While it is understandable that one puts all of themselves into their craft, specially if the craft is of the creative sort, this kind of behaviour begs the question - are they wholly the craft, or is the craft a piece of them?
It is a trick question, admittedly. If they are wholly the craft, surely the craft would’ve been polished to absolute perfection before going public, since they seem to consider themselves as flawless and untouchable. If the craft is a piece of them, why are they so damn salty to go to such lengths as brigading others who dare speak up, with their personal armies?
Inflated egos pop easily.
Not receiving critique, no matter how snarky it might be, with an open heart and mind only really casts a different light on the critiqued, and it’s not a very flattering look. The ugly side opens it’s mouth, and speaks a story of a person who refuses to improve in the one thing they claim they love dearly.
Yelling about being victimised while holding onto barbed wire will only get people to cut the wire around you - you are the one who has to let go, if you wish to not hurt anymore. Screaming at the person pointing out that your hands are bleeding will not stop your hands from bleeding - you are only making enemies of people who wish to see you become better.
Being a writer is hard. Putting so much time and effort, sweat and tears, to produce something of value is an award in itself. Once it’s out there, outside of own hands and mind, it’s for the best to lay it down on the table and move on.
Wise Tame Impala once made a song called Let It Happen (2015 was seven years ago, for anyone who hasn’t felt old recently), and it is the best advice for anyone with a fragile ego.
It is okay to feel bad about not being the best. It is okay to feel bad when someone else is being all smug about your work. Learn to process these negative emotions in a healthy way, and take the smug as motivation to become greater.
Being able to take criticism is the single most important life skill to have, because stagnation is death, and to die creatively is a fate only brought upon by oneself.